All about knowing myself...or is it convincing myself???
People like me are now in a habit of reading blogs…diaries of unknown people.
Why did I start with a blog in the first place?? I could have carried on writing in my diary. Now when I say diary, it is not something where I write day-to-day stuff…I used to write about my thoughts, something that I am writing now…but diaries used to be personal, something which I was, and still am very possessive about. I somehow still do not trust this blog thing. Having started to post here since one of my friends was very much into it, I now consider myself more of a reader than a blogger…as in blogging…as in writing…
I had read somewhere that people keep journals, blogs to keep in touch with themselves…to understand the “self”. But it sometimes makes me wonder whether we are trying to convince ourselves to be who we not really are…??? This thought makes me squirm at times when I think about it.
Browsing through, the “love” issue tops the list. Seems everyone’s in love, been in love, tormented by love, love, love, love. “I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine”…John Galt (Atlas Shrugged). No, I have not yet read this book. One of my friends had messaged this piece some time back and I still have it in my inbox. This statement intrigues me. Can such a view ever be applicable? I wonder…
It’s fascinating to see how much people are alike though we do not realize it. I mean, there are these posts in the blog filled with happiness, awe at the Supreme Being and then there are posts filled with pessimism, loneliness…in the same blog...! Right now, I may be happy and when I am sad, I forget that I was happy. I dwell in my unhappiness not realizing that I was happy some moments ago. I feel that I am the only one with problems and “issues”…but then when I look around closely, everyone has their share.
I think I’ve got to say it now…I am a hypocrite and so is everyone around me…There’s this side of me reserved for some people, some other side of me reserved for some other lot…I say I hate hypocrisy when in fact, the world revolves around it.
Some thoughts that I have…
posted by ripz @ 7:22 AM
10 Comments:
Good introspective piece this...question's the very nature of blogging...if you ask me why i blog...
partly to expose myself (I sometimes wonder what if we had a "thought camera" in our brains and our thoughts were broadcast live...then our hypocrisy would be exposed...then the very word hypocrite would lose meaning as everyone would end up being one)
a confessional act in anonimity knitted in fiction...
that line from ayn rynd is interesting...i saw the movie fountainhead and the message if there is any was not to indulge in collective thought and compromise on individual excellence. She points out that human achievement has not been driven by collective thought but pocketfuls of individual brilliance (einstien, edison, newton, shakespeare to name a few)
but i feel that genius has its own way of finding its way through mazes of collective people and things...so i cannot think one could clone a genius in seclusion....
Now coming to the point if any man / woman was worth giving ones life/freedom i think its just a question of changing one's point of view...
As blake uts it "He who binds in himself a joy doth the winged life destroy, he who kisses the joy as it flies lives in eternity's sunrise"
so can we love without pschyological authority of any form...if we could that question of rynd would never arise....
sorry for a rather long comment...Its actually for rynd's thought not your post...
For your's its SILENCE (sometime's its the best from of appreciation)
Forgive me...i just cant seem to stop writing on these issues...
About confession: Brings to my mind images of the church and how people used to confess in seclusion to the priest for the good of their souls...perhaps a blog is a modern day church...only there are no "holy than thou" priests but sinners like you and me...makes me sing..."we happy, happy band of sinners having confessed all..."
Albert camus (nobel laureate)on confession:
"A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession."
not answers these...just points of view...:-) keep writing...
check out:-
http://www.jkrishnamurti.org/ (on pschycological authority and all that...)
Oh, between all this have forgotten to ask you...how is gangtok?...anything new in town?
a thought camera...will we see anything new there???
yeah, if I put that again.."I swear by my life and my love of it that I will not live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine"...this piece is intriguing...many things hidden in this statement..
And yes, I have read Fountainhead..the character Howard Roark whom many people look upto just doesnt seem to go with me...I mean can such a character ever make sense in this world?
hmm..Gangtok...I guess you heard about the water problem caused by the landslide near Ganesh Tok..but things are ok now..
Weather's oh so pleasant..and yes, have been giving attendance in Baker's Cafe regularly..
"live for the sake of another man" => sacrifice / bondage(tinged with self pity perhaps)
"ask another man to live for mine" => authority (tinged with psychological pleasure) / dependence (seeking respite in permanance (that does not exist) in relationship)
Rynd does not want her character to embody these because she feels its a threat to individual freedom (of a creative kind perhaps)...but as you point out there could be more to it...perhaps it leads to delusion and suffering too..
But wait...can human choices be so analytical ...:-)
On second thoughts...
"Live for the sake of another" may also imply heroism/nobilty...human history and literature is full of these...As in the mother lived for the sake of her children...
"Ask another man to live for mine" may also imply heroism... as in "give me blood and i will give you freedom"...
Motivation is the key one would say...but after some time its difficult to inquire into these...
A rule of thumb:-
Is the motivation tinged with pleasure of any form? (thats not mine... borrowed from J krishnmurthy :-)
If its not its love else its whatever that goes in the name of love...
now i better rush back hame..Holland Vs Argentina...Lets see how good the Argentinians are :-)
Take care and keep writing...
On second thoughts..."ask another man to live for mine" can also be made to as being heroic/noble (ample evidences in literature and our morals) as in "mother living for the sake of their children"
Same too for "ask another man to live for mine"...as in ideological wars for country, religion as in "Give me blood and I shall give you freedom"...
Are these worthy of praise...
Rule of thumb (its not mine ...its been devised from J. krishnamurthy)
"if its an act of pleasure..its not...if it is without pleasure and the craving for continuity its Love and worthy)"
so much words to tax you...ill stop now...football England Vs Argentina...lets see how good the Argentinians are...
take care and keep writing
regards
thinley.
some heavy dose you've given me..
will dwell upon it later..got to watch the match too..
and yes, am yet to go through J krishnmurthy's blog
Thanks for the nice comment. :) I like your blog, too.
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